1. Paulownia the wood pecker live down south of australia called kalgoorik.
2. Then one day at night and evil dog wood tree named Hick steal paulownia beak.
3. Paulownia wakes up and decide he should get some delicious bugs to eat for breakfast. Paulownia starts to peck on the tree to get some breakfact and knock him self out and fall out of the tree.
4.Paulownia wake up after the big fall and doesn't remeber what just happens. But then realize his beak is gone.
5. Hick then decides to barry paulownia beak in the ground.
6. Paulownia starts to walk around the tree to try to find his beak the run into a bump and fall over and knock him self out again.
7. Paulownia wake up and found his beak under the ground clueless how it got there.
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4 comments:
I think this is a really great idea that you could do so much with. I'm wondering...your concept statement is simply, "woodpecker loses his beak" and that is pretty much all the story is about...so what if you added a little more meaning? Why does he lose his beak? What if that IS your ending instead of the conflict. For example, the woodpecker loses his beak b/c he did something wrong, and that is the consequence of his actions. Maybe the tree sees him do something bad so he takes his beak away. So then at least there is "moral" to the story or some kind of message being sent other than just the tree taking his beak for no reason.
What if the tree is angry b/c the woodpecker keeps pecking holes in his bark when he trys to find food, so the tree pays him back by taking his beak when he is asleep. Then when he wakes up and trys to find food and knocks himself out, the tree chuckles to himself. So then there is meaning to the story that the audience can relate to (we have all experienced payback of some sort!) and there is no question as to why the tree would take the beak!
I don't know if you have seen Mulan...but there's a part where one of the soldiers trys to break a brick with his face, but knocks himself silly. That might be a good resource for when your character knocks himself out. Or in Aladdin when the sultan falls off the flying carpet and little sultans on carpets fly around his head like stars. You could make it silly.
Anyways...sorry so long, but I think this could be great! Good Job!!!
very funny story... it could use more to it though...
When he wakes up he could not even notice his beak is missing until he sees some more food to eat, and goes after it and notices then when he tries to peck at it, that he is missing a beak. Then begins to question everything around him.
The concept statement could be a little less specific. Ex: I woke one time with a missing body part...
Nice story though, it's cute/funny.
this story is funny. But lacks explanations for why certain things are going on. Why does the tree want to steal the birds beak? Maybe have the bird snap at the bark of the tree and have the tree shake a little....and then one of the branches smack the bird, causing the beak to fall off. Then the bird tries to fly around to get it, but ends up getting knocked out and then when he wakes. The beak is sitting next to him and then he flies away.
hope the suggestion helps ya!
The story needs more development, as does many of the rest of the people in the class, mine included. Anyway, why would he loose his beak. Is he constructed in such a way that he loses objects. The resolution feels a little rushed and isn't preceded by a strong climax. I get no connection to the characters. It's a good premise, but it needs a little more work. Good Luck
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